Monday, February 28, 2005

Turns Out, I Just Needed To Change Brands

because, First Response says yes.

From my calculations, I'm 15 days pregnant. The OB calls this 5 weeks. Okay, whatever.

We're not telling too many people; just check out the list of blogs I read to see how immersed I am in the whole infertility/miscarriage culture. Do the words "scared as hell" mean anything?

Overall, I'm just starting to "feel" pregnant. I'm a bit more tired, my abdomen is a bit crampy and I have a constant *very* low-grade nausea. Very manageable, and believe it or not, I'm glad to have it.

I've been told that if I get too cocky about my easy time, I'll end up with hemorrhoids the size of cantaloupes. So, I can just say, I'm happy to be here, and I'm going to enjoy the ride- no matter how bumpy.

And if the ride doesn't buck me off, it'll glide to a halt on October 30th. I hope to see you there.

Tuesday, February 08, 2005

Consistency

A quick aside to mention how difficult it is to maintain a personal web log when you are not able to access said document at work.

Damn.

Trying Again

It's coming up on that time again.

I remain conflicted. I remain hopeful. I remain doubtful.

I have been taking my basal temperature every morning, but unless you have been charting for a couple of months, interpreting the graph is a bit tricky. Especially when you get up at different times during the week. Your temperature can greatly vary in just a couple of hours, making all sorts of adjustments necessary. I find myself with a limited amount of patience for this.

Whatever happened to just getting knocked up?

Thursday, February 03, 2005

And I Thought She Was Just Getting Broad in the Beam

But, no.

A very nice co-worker announced her pregnancy yesterday. I am very happy for her. And very envious. But I told her so, so it doesn't count against me.

It was unplanned. Unexpected. 14 days after LMP*.

I am now a week or so into taking my basal temperature and charting the texture of my cervical fluid every day. It's kind of an interesting self-discovery process, but doesn't lend me ANY hope that I will be able to conceive.

I also came to the rather depressing realization that I'm now SIX months into "trying." Six months of failure. I'm sure my chances are plummeting as we speak.

So, I'm a bit depressed. Very Nice Co-Worker is happily planning for her future(although, in order to avoid whitewashing the issue too much, she does have to deal with the Baby Daddy -- or not deal with him, as the case may be) with a child inside her who is, AS WE SPEAK, four inches long.

I guess for now, I'm stuck with The Dog and The Monkey.

*LMP stands for "Last Menstrual Period". There's a myth that all women ovulate exactly 14 days into their cycle, and therefore, having unprotected sex on that day will result in conception. As a rule, this is hogshit. I sure don't ovulate at exactly 14 days. In fact, she's the only person I know who's EVER said they conceived on day 14. And to top off my incredulity, it was a fucking mistake!